Fall is here!!!!

I have been so caught up in all the drama I call MY LIFE over the last 2 months or so I almost missed the change of the seasons. Mark asked me if I wanted to drive with him to southern Indiana this morning and I almost said NO. Boy am I glad went. The drive was spectacular. I was kicking myself for not bringing the camera. The beginning of the leaves changing is my favorite time to wonder around. It makes me remember a lot of great things from growing up. Trick or treating was a big deal to us kids. (it was still safe for kids back then) We would plan out every detail for Halloween it was a ritual that was drawn out over the weeks prior to Halloween. People don't think of California and changing of the seasons, hell it's the land of never ending sunshine. I am often surprised at how many misconceptions people have about the land of fruit's and nut's. Any way I'm off the subject I just Loved fall until about 8 years ago. When I realized it meant that the snow was just around the corner it seemed to loose a lot of it's beauty. Don't get me wrong I do not hate winter I just wish it was shorter. (about 2 month's shorter) Indiana is a very beautiful place until it's 15` and the wind is blowing 30 mph. then it is kind of UGLY. Any way I am off the subject again I really needed the ride in the country today it lifted my spirits and cleared my head. Now if I can just get my life back on track I will be O.K. I think I will try to wonder about tomorrow with the camera and see what I can capture. Who knows the two little jokers might be out and about.

Chantix ruined my life.

Around memorial day this past spring I decided that I had had enough of Smoking, it was time to quit. I had done my home work read what I could about all the options. Chantix seemed to be the answer to not being able to stop on my own. So I went to the Doctor and asked for a prescription. She asked me if I had ever suffered from depression I had in the past and I told her this she told me that "we needed to watch my moods because it could cause me to be moody". I was told the most common complaint was vivid dreams, not once was suicidal behavior ever mentioned (by the Doctor or any of the article's on the Chantix web site). Over the Three months I used the drug I became increasingly agitated by the smallest thing. I wanted to kill people if they looked at me side way's. My moods would swing from one extreme to the other, happy one second and in a rage the next. At work were had a missing foremen due to a serious illness, two new foremen quit and a another foremen was out for two weeks after hurting his back. This left me and the assistant plant manager to run the entire line.( I worked in a Trailer Factory as a Q.C.) I was not able to be a foreman and had told the General manager this every time I was offered a Foreman position. I knew that I was not capable of handling the pressure under normal circumstances so when the supervision chain fell apart and I was dealing with helping to run the plant while on chantrix I lost my mind. It was more than I could deal with and I fell apart. I would cry all the way to work in the morning knowing that I would have to push and fight with the world to get a home through the line that was up to our standards. I was hiding from people trough out the day while I was trying to stop crying, or calm my self down. At the end of the day I would drive home either in a rage or cry all the way home. At times I had considered going up on the roof and jumping off. I had become so mean to people that no one wanted to be near me. I was good at my job before I decided to quit smoking using Chantix, now I no longer have a job. On august 27th I finally realized that I was in trouble and needed to see a doctor I told the assistant plant manager I was leaving at 2:30 and he offered to have one of the final girls finish up for me I left and was terminated the next morning. I was not able to get any help that day and no longer had insurance the next day. I had never felt so confused and out of control as I had for the three months I had taken Chantix. During the time on it I had began to drink heavily, did not sleep, was not be able to concentrate, unable to make decisions, did not care about my appearance, and was extremely unhappy. I no longer smoke and my life is in shambles, no job, lost my fiance, and depressed beyond belief. I don't know if I will ever be able to get my life back and I am scared, I just want to feel normal again. I have lost all the joy in my life, I am no longer a productive part of society.

VOTE THEM ALL OUT

Has it ever occurred to any one to that we can stop our country from being run into the ground by a bunch of greedy Politicians, Bankers and Oil Billionaires??? We can take back all of the wonderful thing's about our country that have been squandered by Washington D.C. We can stop our country from being auctioned off to the highest Bidder. (Example: Governor Mitch Daniels has leased the Indiana Toll Road to a foreign company for 75 years, yes they paid a lot of money for the lease, but where is the money????) We have the right to vote for whom ever we see fit to vote for so what would happen if we only voted for first time runners? What if we voted out all incumbents, and I mean all of them from the Dog Catcher to the President? What if we put our collective feet down and say enough is enough? I have watched a state of complete and utter Kaos in this country for to long now and we have to do something or we will never be the great country we once were. All the values our country was founded on are slowly disappearing, we have all lost so much. We have the privilege of being residents of the greatest country on earth and we are allowing it to be destroyed by greed. Here are a few questions we should be demanding answers too: Why are foreign company's buying up our company's? Who is really behind all the sub-prime mess American Banks or foreign investors? Who the Hell is going to bail us out when TAXES are so high we can no longer pay them? Why dose 1 % of the population control 90% of the wealth in this country? How can our government pick and choose the laws that are going to be enforced ?( immigration being the biggest one)